7 Tips for Managing Holiday Stress
By: Jessica Fatih. Published December 12, 2022
When I was in graduate school, I was going to speak to a group of parents about managing holiday stress. My talk was about the benefits of meditation and how it could help. It never panned out, and I’m thankful. Here’s why… I had never experienced the holiday season as a parent. I had never planned, bought, or prepared an entire holiday dinner. I had no clue what it was like to be wrapping gifts at midnight on Christmas eve.
I was thirty years old, single, and a graduate student. I could have spouted out information about the benefits of meditation, but I did not know or understand the stress of the holidays that my audience was experiencing. At that point in my life, holidays meant buying a few gifts and showing up at my parent’s house. Like magic, the holiday dinner, plans, and festivities all appeared (AKA - hard work on my mom's part!).
While my information about meditation may have been helpful, it would have been difficult for me to connect with the audience. Now, as a parent of three, I understand more and have some real-life tools I use to help during this busy time of the year.
As a parent, it feels daunting with how much there is to do during the holiday season. Not to mention, I think parents often feel pressure to create the “perfect” holiday for their children. Between finding creative spots to hide the elves, ordering gifts, and decorating the house, I have a few tricks to help myself not feel so overwhelmed. I’m not recreating the wheel here, but here are 7 tips that I use to manage stress during this busy season:.
1. Give yourself time
When you are feeling too busy or rushed, make time for yourself. Give yourself a few minutes to take a break throughout the day: sit quietly, lay down, listen to music, have a cup of something warm, or do a 10-minute meditation. Give yourself a few minutes to recharge.
When the list seems endless, taking 10 minutes to give yourself a break will help you get through the rest of your tasks. It will help you feel refreshed and ready to focus again.
Don’t forget the evening…Schedule some time just for you each night. Do something relaxing that feels like an extra special treat for you. Take a little time to care for yourself: a bath, read a book, enjoy a cup of nighttime tea, or try an online yoga class. My go-to for online yoga is Kate Waitzkin. She has a class titled “Sweet Rest,” which is perfect for winding down for the day.
2. If it’s unnecessary, say “no” or “next time.”
What can you do to lighten your load? Can you cut it out of the schedule if it isn’t essential or a must? You don’t have to say “yes” to everything right now. You can try saying “no” or “next time.”
3. Organize and ask for help
Manage your time and make your lists of what needs to get done. Anxiety arises when we get overwhelmed with thoughts of the future. Get your calendar out and plan. Make some lists of what needs to get done. Ask for help, sit down with your partner or family, and figure out how to get it all done together. Kids are great at stuffing envelopes and putting stamps on those holiday cards (PS – why did nobody tell us that coordinating outfits for family pictures was such a monumental task??).
4. Take perfectionism off the table
Remind yourself it does NOT have to be perfect. We often put this stress of wanting to create the perfect holiday memories. Regardless of perfection, memories will be made. The gifts don’t have to look perfect- they will be opened. The gingerbread house does not need to look Pinterest-worthy. The only thing that matters is that your children have fun making it. Just be present, be there, and don’t put too many expectations on it. This year, our gingerbread houses looked like a scene from the three little pigs- caved-in and broken-down houses, but my children enjoyed the frosting and candy.
5. Book something for yourself
If this is a possibility, gift yourself some additional self-care. Plan out a date for a little extra self-care. Plan a hike, go to the art museum, schedule a brunch, download the book you wanted to read, book that massage, yoga class, or facial.
6. Streamline and be flexible
I have been guilty of wanting to do it “perfectly.” Nothing is perfect, and I’ve spent endless hours working at something that could have been down much quicker. Give yourself a break. Where can you cut corners, streamline and make it easier on yourself?
Streamline your gift-giving. It’s hard to plan out the “perfect” gift for everyone. Can a group of people all get similar gifts? A friend gives co-workers a bottle of wine- more manageable than getting something specific for each person. Get the precut veggies for the vegetable tray you volunteered to bring. Order the pre-cooked dinner from the grocery store.
7. Don’t forget the mantra.
As I was writing this post, I saw a message from Sarah Longacre, founder of Blooma in Minneapolis, on Instagram. She talked about the importance of having a mantra to get you through the next three weeks of 2022. Sarah said, “have a word or phrase to guide you to a place of comfort.”
I love mantras and use them all the time. I absolutely loved the idea of having a mantra during this busy holiday season. Mine is, “keep going, gather courage.” I need this mantra because this holiday season comes right as I have launched a blog. Also, I take deep breaths during intense moments or when I need it and say, “I breathe in peace.” This helps to ground me.
The best gift we can give ourselves this holiday season is to be kind to ourselves. Take care of yourself. Remember that the memories are made with the people in the room. My dad told me last year that no one will remember if the house looks perfect. They will remember being together and the laughter.
I would love to hear from you in the comments below.
Share your secret for managing stress during the holidays.