Using the 5 Love Languages to Practice Self-Care

By: Jessica Faith

Published May 6, 2023

Self-care has been a game changer in my own life. I heard somewhere that self-care is the first step to loving and fully embracing ourselves. I think of self-care as our actions to care for and love ourselves.

I’ve written before about how in 2021, I consciously decided to make time and take better care of myself. I added self-care to my daily routine, one by one. I began by getting outside for a walk, making healthy meals, cutting out caffeine, adding music throughout my day, and adding a morning routine that included meditation and journaling. One day it hit me that self-care felt like the act of self-love. It made me wonder, was I expressing my love for myself through the love languages?

How we express love for ourselves could fall under the 5 Love Languages. Gary Chapman developed and published these in 1992, finding widespread acceptance of them:  Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. He applied them by expressing commitment and love in relationships. It hit me our love language can be expressed for ourselves too.

Here are my ideas for expressing your love language through self-care:

I’ll admit I express love through Acts of Service the most. As a parent, I think it’s second nature. I did notice that a lot of my self-care comes in the form of Acts of Service. However, one definition of self-care is taking time for mental and physical well-being. So, it makes sense that Acts of Service are my highest-ranking form of personal self-care.

Words of Affirmation are an act of love. When we practice loving ourselves, we must affirm and speak kind and loving words to ourselves.

If we want to feel good, we need to think good thoughts about ourselves. Our beliefs about ourselves create our feelings, our feelings create behaviors, and behaviors create life outcomes. So if you are thinking positive thoughts about yourself, you’ll feel better about yourself and treat yourself better. SEE… it’s a win-win!

Making time for yourself is so important. Quality time dedicated to self-care is an act of love! Quality time for myself meant doing meaningful acts of self-care during my time. I even consider a nap as quality time if that is what is important for you!

As a parent, I struggled to find time in my schedule. I found it easiest to make time in the early morning when my family was asleep. Then I got creative and found quick ways to add it to my busy days. Waiting in the pick-up line at the school meant some time to drink tea and listen to music to prepare myself for the after-school rush.

Physical touch is an expression of love—many self-care practices fall under the physical touch category. Even your bedtime skincare routine can fall under this category. Change your mindset to make the actions more meaningful; “I’m putting lotion on before bed to take loving care of myself” versus “I have one more thing to do before bed.”

I love to think of simple gifts we can give ourselves to feel special and express love for ourselves. Sometimes that means paying for it, but other times it is as simple as taking a Saturday morning just for ourselves. Gifts of time can be fantastic for loving yourself.

In my research for this post, I came across “Applying the 5 Love Languages to Self-Love: How to Love Yourself” by Joyce Marter. I included some of her ideas on the slides with her permission.

I hope this post helps you discover more meaningful ways to express your love language for yourself. What’s your love language? I’d love to hear any tips you have for adding self-care to your day.